


Promises Fulfilled

by steviemarie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depression, F/M, Grief, modern!AU, reiner and reader is friendship only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:32:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7520377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steviemarie/pseuds/steviemarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Like, if something bad ever happened to me, you'd be there for her wouldn't you? You wouldn't leave her alone like Mina was?” </p><p>Reiner had scoffed. “Obviously I would, but I don't think you have to worry about that. Nothing is going to happen to you.” </p><p>Bertholdt was quiet for a little bit. “Yeah, well, nobody could have guessed something would happen to Thomas, either. So promise me you'll always be there for her.” </p><p>“I promise.” Reiner had told him. “But nothing is going to happen to you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promises Fulfilled

**Author's Note:**

> an old fic from deviantart so while i try not to use them now, it has ___ for the name of the reader.

Reiner balanced the basket on his arm as he reached into the cooler to pull out the carton of orange juice so he could check the best before on it, when he was satisfied that it would be okay for a couple of days, he closed the door and put it into his basket, moving on to look at bread. He was picking up the basics for ______, as he did every few days to make sure that she actually had something in her house to eat if so she wished to, though he knew that he would most likely be the one who would have to force her into nibbling on a slice of toast as she sipped a glass of orange juice.

 

______ didn't leave the house much these days, so Reiner had taken it upon himself to do these things for her, he dropped off any supplies he'd get for her on his way home from work, before work however he'd also stop in just to check that she was doing okay. She was never really doing okay. 

 

More often than not, she'd still be in bed, though some days she's be sitting up on her laptop flicking through her Tumblr dashboard, those were Reiner's favorite days because even though she'd still be in her pyjamas and there'd be a fifty-fifty chance she'd have run a brush through her hair, they were still much better than the days when she'd still be lying in bed staring at the wall. She'd speak those days too, reply to his questions and usually get talked into having a shower so he could change the sheets on her bed. Those were usually the days where she told him that he didn't have to do this, that her Mom stopped by every day to see her too and that he shouldn't feel like he had to see her. Occasionally she'd tell him that she was coping with things just fine and it took all of Reiner's willpower not to tell her that she didn't know the meaning of the world. 

 

Because she wasn't coping, she wasn't coping at all. It had been two months now and while everything still hurt, while the pain was still fresh and sometimes Reiner would forget only to be re-reminded, he was coping. He was going to work every day, checking on ______, living his life, sure, he was still experiencing constant reminders over what had happened and almost daily he would have to excuse himself from his cubicle to go to the bathroom to catch his breath, but he knew that he couldn't change the past and that he had to continue to live his life. 

 

Sometimes, when Reiner was particularly frustrated, he'd think about how at least ______ could hide away in her apartment, at least she could cover up the pictures (and though he'd never confronted her about it, he'd definitely noticed that she had) and be in her own world. She didn't have to walk to work every morning, see the site of the accident that was still littered with rotten flowers that nobody had removed. Reiner had considered removing them himself a few times, but every time he'd bent down to do it he just couldn't bring himself to, he didn't know what it was but he found them something of a comfort. She didn't have to watch her old school friends cross the road when they saw her, because they didn't want to have to have a conversation, that was something that Reiner found really frustrating, even though he understood why they were doing it, he still found it ignorant.

 

And of course, she didn't have to speak to the mother. Reiner would see her on the street sometimes, or in the supermarket and her face would always crumple when she saw him, she'd embrace him and try and control herself. Occasionally she'd call him too, often late at night when he was trying to sleep, but he didn't care, he knew that she just wanted to hear the voice of someone close to him. Those conversations were always the same, she'd start off by asking how he was doing and they'd make small talk and then it would happen. “How's ______?” she'd ask and Reiner never really knew how to answer that. Because how was he supposed to tell her that she was a mess and that she rarely got out of bed, even now? He'd always make promises that ______ would call her though, when she felt up to it, he didn't know if he would ever be able to keep that promise and he hated breaking promises. 

 

That was why he still visited ______ every day to see how she was doing. That's why he'd continue to visit ______ every day for as long as he could, even if she made him frustrated and sad and sometimes he wanted to yell at her – he'd never yell at her though, this wasn't her fault. She didn't ask this to happen. Just like he didn't ask for this to happen. He'd never expected this to happen. 

 

He'd expected his best friend to be there forever. 

 

They'd met at elementary school, even then Bertholdt had been taller than he should have probably been, he hadn't really registered on Reiner's radar until part-way through their first year. Sure, he'd noticed him – who wouldn't when he was so much taller than everyone else in his classes? But to Reiner he'd just been that one weird but harmless, nervous kid who paid far too much attention in class and who would often spend his recesses in the library or just sitting away in some quiet corner of the playground with a book, he wasn't that social. And then one day Reiner had been playing a game of soldiers with his friend Connie and he'd ran around a corner to hide and found Bertholdt there, not just with his book as he usually would be, but with two other boys from their class. Two boys who had gotten ahold of Bertholdt's book and were throwing it around for the other to catch while Bertholdt just stood there looking mortified.

 

Obviously Reiner wasn't going to let that happen, because Bertholdt really was harmless and Reiner had never been one to like seeing people get bullied, so he'd stepped in and stood up for the other boy. And had gained a best friend in doing so. Reiner didn't so much mind that after that, Bertholdt had started to hang around him like a lost puppy, he slotted in pretty well and even though he wasn't much for joining in with Reiner in his games, he was good at thinking them up. 

 

They'd gone to the same middle school too and the same high school after that and they'd remained friends throughout, everything that had happened to Reiner during that time – his parents divorce, his first kiss, his Grandfather's death to name a few – Bertholdt had been there right by his side to support him, or comfort him or cheer for him. Reiner had expected all of that to end after graduation, because he couldn't imagine Bertholdt in any college other than an Ivy League. But that had happened either, Bertholdt hadn't applied to any college other than the small community college in the two they grew up in, the same one Reiner was planning on attending, because the idea of being separated from him was too much for Bertholdt's mother. 

 

College had been where ______ had fallen into their lives, Reiner had been the first one to meet her in a Spanish class and to befriend her. Yeah, he'd thought ______ was a pretty cool girl, she'd been friendly enough, but hadn't been afraid to speak her mind and stand up for herself when it was needed and Reiner had found her pretty freaking charming. She was also kind of hot and Reiner had kind of liked her a lot. He'd been the one to introduce her to Bertholdt, at a party that Bertholdt hadn't wanted to go to in the first place. Though he hadn't flat out said it, it was obvious to Reiner that Bertholdt had fallen under ______'s charms too and instead of asking her out like he'd been planning to do, he'd encouraged Bertholdt to go there instead. 

 

Yeah, it had sucked that it turned out that ______ was as charmed with Bertholdt's awkward nature as he was with her, but Reiner liked how happy Bertholdt seemed around her and as his feelings for ______ faded, he got to watch his best friend develop his first real relationship and it was worth it to see Bertholdt so happy, because he'd never actually seen Bertholdt this happy before. And somewhere along the line, ______ had become one of his best friends too and they'd become a three. 

 

It was during their last year of college that something unexpected had happened and had affected, well, pretty much everyone who attended that college. Thomas Wagner, one of their fellow students and someone who had taken quite a lot of classes with Bertholdt, had gone out to a club with his girlfriend, Mina, one weekend and had gotten into a fight with someone he shouldn't have while defending her. It had been so unexpected, because Thomas had been a really nice guy, he'd just been defending his girlfriend, he was the last person you'd have expected to have been lured out into a parking lot for a fight and stabbed. Though they'd heard that his girlfriend had been quick to call an ambulance, it had been too late and he'd died from his wounds. 

 

Though the grief had been widespread throughout the student body, Bertholdt had been particularly shaken up by the news, having know him. He'd been one of the only students who'd gone to his funeral, by himself, he'd turned down Reiner and ______'s offers to go with him and he'd come back even more shaken up than he already was. He'd gone to Reiner's after and he'd sat there in silence for quite some time before he'd spoken. 

 

“Mina was there by herself.” Had been the first words out of his mouth. “Nobody came with her to support her. I sat with her and everything, but that isn't right is it? Someone should have been there for her. I guess it made me think about what would happen if something like that ever happened to me.” Reiner had agreed and Bertholdt had gone quiet again. “You'd look after her, wouldn't you?”

 

“Who, Mina?” Reiner had queried.

 

“No. ______.” Bertholdt had replied. “Like, if something bad ever happened to me, you'd be there for her wouldn't you? You wouldn't leave her alone like Mina was?” 

 

Reiner had scoffed. “Obviously I would, but I don't think you have to worry about that. Nothing is going to happen to you.” 

 

Bertholdt was quiet for a little bit. “Yeah, well, nobody could have guessed something would happen to Thomas, either. So promise me you'll always be there for her.” 

 

“I promise.” Reiner had told him. “But nothing is going to happen to you.” 

 

It had been a drunk driver. Bertholdt had been driving home from work, later than he normally would have because he'd been forced to stay late for a meeting and some idiot had been out drinking and had gotten in their car, been unable to control it and Bertholdt had had to swerve to avoid being hit head on. He'd swerved onto the sidewalk and into a pole. They never did find out who had done it, but Bertholdt had died in hospital from his injuries. 

 

No matter how frustrated he got with ______, no matter how long it took, Reiner was not going to give up on her. 

 

He couldn't break a promise, not to Bertholdt. 

 

______ hadn't gone to the hospital to say goodbye, even though Bertholdt's Mom had been desperately trying to get ahold of her, to ask her to please come. She didn't go to the funeral either, even though Reiner had been witness to Bertholdt's Mom desperately trying to get ahold of her, to involve her. She knew the date and the time and she just hadn't turned up. Reiner knew how difficult things were for her, but he also wished she had because she'd regret this when she pulled it together.

 

If she ever got it together.

 

Reiner walked to the checkout with his groceries for her, paid his bill and sighed as he turned to walk to her apartment. He'd have to pass the scene of the accident again of course, see those rotten flowers again, though the flowers were still there, the messages had long since been removed and were in the possession of Bertholdt's Mom. He knew she was waiting for ______ to call her or come over so that she could show her. Reiner wished she would, he knew she'd especially appreciate the one from Mina. 

 

Reiner sighed again as he looked guilty as it made him feel, part of him wanted ______ to just be in bed when he went in tonight, so that he could just make toast and leave because honestly he was just exhausted and he wanted to go home and sleep. And as much as he hated himself for it, he couldn't deny that thinking about things had made it become one of the days when he was at his most frustrated. Maybe he was expecting too much from her, maybe two months was too short a time, but he needed her to pull herself together soon. He'd been there for her, for Bertholdt's mother, he needed a break.

 

No. That was selfish. Of course he didn't, he'd promised Bertholdt. He'd stand by his word. 

 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his key to her apartment and braced himself for what he was going to find inside. This morning she'd still been asleep, would she be in the same position? Would she be awake? Whatever, no matter where she was it was fine. He'd deal, as long as she was okay, as long as he kept his word. He turned the key and stepped inside. 

 

“Hey.” 

 

Reiner almost dropped the bag of groceries he was carrying in the shock of hearing a voice from inside the apartment. Not just any voice, but her voice. 

 

She was outside of her room. 

 

She was sitting on the sofa, the TV on quietly in the background.

 

Her laptop was open on the table next to her and it looked like she was on... her Instagram page? No... no actually it looked like Bertholdt's Instagram page. 

 

She was dressed too, wearing actual clothes instead of raggedy old pyjamas. 

 

“You're dressed.” 

 

“Yeah...” ______ nodded. “I guess I just felt like I should get dressed today.” 

 

“That's good.” Reiner replied, not quite sure what he should say. Should he congratulate her? No, asking if she was okay seemed like a good start though. “Are you okay?” 

 

______ shook her head. “No, but I can't go on like this, can I?” 

 

Reiner wasn't sure whether he should agree or not, would it offend her if he said yes? Would she revert back if he said no? So he settled on busying himself with the grocery bag as if he was looking for something.

 

“I called Rose earlier.” She said softly.

 

“You called Bertholdt's mother?”

 

“Mhm.” Another nod. “She seemed happy to hear from me, she's gonna come see me tomorrow.” 

 

“That's good...” 

 

She nodded again. Falling silent, for a few minutes, while Reiner tried to think of something to say to her. He was glad she awake and dressed, but it had been a while since they'd had an actual real conversation and he wasn't sure what to say to her. “Do you want me to make you some toast?” 

 

She shook her head. “I can do it.” she cleared her throat. “Hey, Reiner?” 

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“Thank you.” 

 

Reiner raised an eyebrow. “It's no big deal, it's just putting two slices of bread in a toaster.” 

 

“No. I mean for everything, I guess I... I couldn't deal with everything and I checked out and I shouldn't have left everything to you.” She swallowed. “I think I'm back now.” 

 

“Don't thank me.” Reiner replied. “And don't apologize.” 

 

“I was thinking about going to see his... you know...” Grave. She couldn't say the word, it was understandable. “tomorrow, I wondered if you wanted to come with me, if you wanted to stop by?” 

 

“Yeah, I'll come with you.” Reiner nodded. “And I'll come by after work.” 

 

“Cool...” She said. “You don't have to keep coming in every day, you know, I know it's out of your way and it isn't far on you...” 

 

“Trust me.” Reiner shrugged. “I do.”

 

While it was nice having his friend back, he wasn't going to pay attention to what she told him, he was still going to check, still going to make sure she was okay, he cared about her, he'd be there for her no matter what. And this was only the first step, they still had a long way to go and he'd see her through it. He wasn't going to let Bertholdt down.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @sailoreiss.


End file.
